You Have to Move On

When bad things come my way, I try to make like about them and get through my day.

This week I couldn’t.

A toddler died last Thursday and I covered the court appearance and the arraignment report.

Those have been the two toughest stories that I’ve ever had to write. My career isn’t even 2-years-old at this point. I’m sure there will be tougher stories along the way, but, right now, that’s what I’m thinking about.

The night after the court appearance, I didn’t sleep well.

I just couldn’t get it out of my head. I’m still struggling with it today.

I keep myself busy. I listen to music and do whatever I can find, but it doesn’t help.

This isn’t the kind of story that you make jokes about. You just can’t.

Even so, I have to move on. I can’t keep dwelling. It’ll kill me.

I have to realize that it could get tougher from here on out.

Covering death isn’t something I want to get comfortable with. But, to some degree, I have to.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want anyone to die at any time.

People die everyday and the paper has to be there to cover it. It may be a brief, an obituary or a front page story, but we’ll be there in some capacity. It’s just  the way things work. Our readers have the right to know what’s going on and where it happened.

My job doesn’t stop because someone dies.

And that’s something I’m still coming to grips with. They didn’t teach us this in college. I’m not really sure how you prepare someone to cover a murder or a fatal accident. There are probably books on it, but it’s not the same.

I know I can do this job, but, in the end, I know that I’m human and shit happens. It’s going to happen every day and I have to be ready for it.

I can’t sit back and think life is beautiful, when I know how bad it can get.



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